I struggled with my weight since 4th grade. Classmates, adults, relatives, strangers... all made comments about my appearance. Funny, I don't remember asking them for their opinion.
Needless to say, it's very damaging for any young kid to receive negative feedback about their appearance. My chubby face didn't define my character as a human being. Unfortunately, society very seldom cares.
I've spent so long berating myself and judging my appearance that even now, at the fittest I have ever been, I still struggle with seeing anything but a chubby kid.
It took a lot of convincing to get me to pose for some fitness shots for a friend. She put together a photo-shoot challenge for a group of ladies. She asked me to join, and I accepted, knowing full well I was out of my league.
We were provided a 12-week program of fitness and nutrition. I played with carb cycling and liked the results but getting in as many workouts as I would have liked, was really hard. I had added too much to my plate at one time and my workouts suffered for it.
12 weeks came and went and I sat anxiously in the make-up artist's chair waiting to be beautified. I was the last of 7 women to go. I had brought cute, but modest workout clothes for my shoot. Other ladies brought heels and bodices.When my friend asked to see what I had planned on wearing, she grabbed the brightest thing in the pile, "This! I love this for you!"
I panicked, "That's just a sports bra." I'm the girl who was 20 before she wore a bikini.
My friend didn't see a problem, "Yea? I've seen your stomach. You're wearing this!"
I trusted her and the very friendly, welcoming photographer so I went with it.
Getting started was awkward. My body was stiff, my hair wouldn't cooperate and I kept closing my eyes when they were supposed to be open, open when they were supposed to be closed. You get the idea.
45 mins later and I was in a grove and having fun, laughing at how silly being seductive in an empty gym felt. Actually, being seductive in a gym would be awkward regardless.
When all was said and done, I had a great time. It was something I would have never done without prodding and support from a friend.
I really enjoyed challenging myself and being happy with the outcome. I still struggle with self-image and assume I always will to some degree. But I'm proud I took the chance to wander outside of my comfort zone just long enough to get some great pictures.
Thank you;
Photography by Carlise
Lite Make-up
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